rax: (Benten guitar case)
So if the stuff earlier this week wasn't enough, I found out soon afterwards that Krinn isn't moving to Tucson, you know, Monday as previously planned. This is for a great reason --- she got offered an awesome job in Seattle --- but it still sucks for me, since I was really looking forward to her being here and now... that's not a thing I am doing. :/ (We'd negotiated that she could and should hunt for a job elsewhere up until the deadline, which in retrospect was a really dumb thing for me to negotiate because I hate uncertainty, but, well, education is what happens when you don't get what you want, as Rik likes to say.) This leaves me with a few options, which I'm going to discuss here, in part because it's a useful way to organize my thoughts and in part because I really would like some help figuring out what the heck to do here. Krinn and I are pretty committed to living together, and we're both willing to move to do it, although it would be a bit of a stretch to say that either of us wants to move. (Separately, I am so ready to be done living airplanes-only distance from all of my partners. I would like to be done with that... Well, I was kind of looking forward to Monday. Still a little bitter. If this is still the case for me in 2016 I will be very unhappy.)

Option one is --- I could just move to Seattle! There are some things about this that are awesome: Krinn loves Seattle, I have some friends in Seattle, there's good vegan food, there's a good Pokemon scene (although I wouldn't be nearly as in charge as I am here), there's decent public transit in the city itself, Rik is, at least right now, there. (He, Rowan, and Timber, all of whom I count as important to me, may be leaving at some point, so I'm hesitant to be like "I will settle there!! Rik will be there!!!" but... seeing Rik all the time, that would be pretty great.) The biggest downside is the climate. I get sad in the winter in ARIZONA. I get cold at night IN ARIZONA. I'm actually allergic to the cold, like, I break out in hives, it's bad. I hate rain. I hate clouds. Climatewise, I know with certainty, I will hate Seattle. Seattle's also much more expensive than here; between Krinn and I, we can afford to live somewhere almost as nice as where I live now, but a lot of incidentals are more expensive and owning a car would not feel effectively free [0] --- although maybe I could just not own a car, which frankly, would be kind of okay. (In a city with goodish transit, I would mostly need a car for getting to card game tournaments and for carrying large objects; these can be accomplished with zipcar and asking friends for favors. I'm used to being the friend asked for favors and I don't mind that role --- 1 car per 4-5 people in a social group seems right to me --- maybe I could just not be the person with the car for once?) There are also social issues: Some folks there don't much care for me, which is fine, h8rs gonna h8, but they're in Krinn's social group and figuring out how to handle that is not a thing I look forward to? I think it's perfectly manageable, just, not a source of warm fuzzy feelings, you know?

Option two is --- Krinn could work the job in Seattle for a year, settle debts and accrue savings, and then move down to Tucson in December or something! In some ways I like this solution the best, because dude, I'd get to stay in Tucson. I love Tucson most of all the places I've lived by a wide margin. I have a community here, I'm making the community here better by running events and taking care of children and I'm like. a mentor? I am a mentor here. It's bizarre, it's not what I imagined myself doing, but it's super important to me and I don't want to leave and also the sun is bright and the skies are blue and the mountains are beautiful and I will miss my mountains if I leave oh god. Krinn didn't have a great time when she was here a couple of years ago --- it's a little small for her, it's hotter than she'd like in the summer, and it doesn't have the kind of tech industry that would like to give you piles of money to play with fun computer problems. There's also not much of her community down here, which is a major thing. At the same time, she could build a community, and taking a stab at that while less depressed would probably work better, and she's had a great time when she's come to visit while in a better headspace? So it's not such a bad move for her that I think it would be terrible for her to take it, but it would definitely involve sacrifices for her and that's a thing I'm very mindful of. ...Also we wouldn't get to live together for another year. That part's ass.

Option three is --- We could wait a year and then both move to a third place. We were originally considering a third place before she got an awesome job and my financial situation got tighter, and it's something we could still work towards and achieve. It would probably take around a year, so similar to option two. (And part of the negotation for either of the first two options is that if one of us was like "I just hate this place" we'd move together.) This has a lot of potential upside, but I think we're both pretty much in our favorite places to live now? (Krinn might prefer San Francisco by a hair, I don't think she's sure.) There's also the weird thing that our lists of places we're willing to live are pretty divergent --- mine is like "Tucson, Providence, ooh, maybe Albuquerque, I could survive with Phoenix or I guess LA" and Krinn's is "Seattle, San Francisco, maybe Portland?? San Diego's probably tolerable" and there's a clear pattern where I want to live either in the desert or in my homeland and Krinn wants to live in a large West Coast city. [1] It's likely that we'll live in a large West Coast city eventually because I worry Krinn would like Providence less than I'd like Portland, Oregon? And I want us to find the thing that's net best for both of us but not gonna lie kinda wish I didn't feel like I was going to end up not getting what I want.

Option four is --- We could not live together full-time? The most clear thing in this space, which is really more of a space than an option, would be me being a snowbird at 30 [2], keeping the house down here in Tucson, and living here November-March and whenever I needed to come back for some event or just wanted a few days to myself or whatever, and otherwise living in Seattle. If money weren't an issue this might be the best plan, but money is decidedly an issue. It's one thing to keep the house down here and rent it for a little less than my mortgage payment in exchange for some long-term value and it's another thing entirely to keep it habitable by _me_ while paying to live somewhere else. Maybe we could swing it. Maybe Krinn'd even be able to convince her job that it was reasonable for her to work remotely a bunch of that time and she could come with me. I'm not sure I'd be able to convince the cats this was a reasonable plan, though. :( Can cats actually get used to a thing like that? Selene's almost 12.

Ooh, or I could move to Providence and then move somewhere else with Krinn in a year, and that would get my "not have to fly to get physical affection" box checked off which let me tell you is a big deal, but two moves in a year and change, especially when you own as many nouns as I do (I have a lot of nouns), suuuuuuuuucks. I guess Krinn could just come to Providence after that year? That's a line we could consider? Providence has all the climate problems that Seattle has and then some, though, so I'm not sure that's the best choice for me anyways, and while I think and hope they'd leave me alone there are people there I don't really want to be spending time with, either. So it's not as slam-dunk as it might be even though there are some really great things about it; I'd need to take a room in my place and paint it the colors of desert noontime and just leave a space heater and a sunlamp on basically all the time. And then live in that room in the winter pretty much. The cats, I bet, would really like that room too. I guess that's actually a fine room to have in your house and maybe I should consider having that room here.

We could also just... not live together? But we really don't want to do that.

Any thoughts? ...Help? :P

footnotes )



rax: (mudkip lieks you too <3)
Here's some stuff I am enjoying right now.
  • Salads. Man, until recently, I was not such a big fan of salad. And if I haven't had a large meal in a day yet, I will still sort of look at the salad and say "That's nice, where is my tofu or seitan." But getting fresh vegetables, finding accessories you actually like, picking a good dressing? These things make salad better. Also I think Krinn just has a magic touch or something, because it doesn't turn out that good when I make it. (Except that one I made in a wrap a couple of weeks ago. That was pretty astounding. I think I just got lucky, though.)
  • Camper Van Beethoven's New Roman Times. This comes to me by way of [livejournal.com profile] circuit_four via Rik, I'm pretty sure, and while Pitchfork thought it was kind of heavy-handed I don't agree with them for the most part. (Ok maybe the Might Makes Right track is a bit too heavy-handed.) It's really musically interesting in places (I would like to find more of what they call "math rock") and there's more subtlety to it than is apparent at first listen, both lyrically and musically. The main beef I have with is is that it's really best appreciated having Rik or someone else who really knows the album in the car with you on like hour 20 of a road trip explaining all of the references and the coherent story behind everything, and you're listening to everything he says and really taking it in because what else are you going to do as you drive through a town named Yellow in freaking Texas? And by the end you are like "Oh man all of this is so clever" but if someone had just handed you the album you would be like "What in the hells are they talking about why is the Unabomber working for Texas what what what." So this is a cautious recommendation, unless you like concept albums or can make Rik explain it to you, in which case oh my god go check this out right now. (They're playing in Arizona on the 13th. I am somewhat tempted.)
  • Jennifer Chung's debut novel Terroryaki!. Full disclosure: The author is a good friend of mine. This novel was the winner of last year's Three-Day Novel Contest, which by the way starts tomorrow if any of you have more free time than me. There are moments where you can tell that the first draft was written in three days, but despite this and even in part because of this it is a hilarious read, and an absolutely wonderful airplane antidote to spending hours and hours reading Marx and Marxists. It's fluffy, sure, but if it's a fluff sandwich, it's made with real bread, not the bleached-out stuff that rips all over when you try to sink your teeth in it. The main characters feel like real people, and make real decisions, and I found myself rooting for them and hoping for good things to happen to them, rather than for everyone's life to descend back into the misery that is the stuff of post/modern existence. And then, because it was fluff and not, like, Dubliners, everyone wasn't miserable at the end! And I smiled a lot and was energized to go read more Marxists! (Wendy Brown's States of Injury, while I don't agree with everything she says? Actually really good.) So if you're into that sort of thing, check it out. (Especially if you know Jen --- the characters very much aren't her but sometimes you can hear her voice coming through and it's awesome.)
  • [livejournal.com profile] pkmncollectors . I know, I know, this is a terrible habit --- and it is. But not only is pkmncollectors a great place to get playable cards at lower than market price, but it's a really friendly community and I've enjoyed all of my interactions with folks there. I... may start collecting Shaymins, and not (just) the cards. They're so cute! And someone was selling a mini-collection I could start from at absolutely super cheap! And... oh dear. Yeah. The community's really great, though, and I enjoy helping people there with card pricing the same way I enjoy helping people make fair trades at league.
  • Biking! Sure, it's 110F out or something, but you know what? I don't care. Tucson is an awesome town to bike in, and biking is awesome. I'm usually out three or four times a week --- as it cools down a little more and I get back in shape I will do some longer rides, too. Have I mentioned here yet that like half the roads in Tucson have bike lanes and don't have parking to the right of the bike lane? I am going to be so horribly spoiled when I move somewhere else. I mean sure I've seen a couple of nutty drivers but even biking on the roads people said were "super crowded and dangerous" feels lackadaisical compared to Boston or Bloomington. (Which everyone said was such a great bike town, and I guess it sort of was, but it wasn't really a bike commuting town so much as a bike racing town, which is less my thing. I don't want to go 100 miles or go ultra-stupid-fast around a track. I want to get to work without having to burn fossil fuels or sit on a bus full of strangers. Bonus points if I get exercise.)
  • Seattle. It's kind of too cold there (I only say this because I am acclimating to a desert) but beyond that it has good transit, it's a vegan paradise, it has Rik, it has a number of other friends, many of whom I think would be closer friends if I lived there... It's a place I feel like I could live. And might, when I'm done with graduate school. I would complain about the hills all the time because some of them are unpleasant just to walk up and I can't imagine they would be comfortable on a bike, and things are kind of spread out and I would have to do a lot of bike-bus chaining rather than being a five mile ride from everything like in Boston or at least a ten mile mostly flat ride from everything like here... but man the stuff would be worth going to, and I would already have something like one and a half or two social groups to spend time with on day one, and at least there's not much snow. Although if I lived in Seattle, where would I fly to when I wanted to go have fun for a weekend?
Hopefully y'all also have good things going on! I'd love to hear about them!
rax: (hungry vulpix wants vegan sushi!)
  • I'm in a cafe in Seattle sitting with Rik and trying to figure out how to get a paper I've written under 8000 words so that I can submit it to a journal. It was 11000 when I started; I've got it down to around 8900 and am starting to cut things I think are really important. :/ On the one hand, this is super frustrating; on the other hand, having this much important stuff to cut makes me more and more confident that I can turn "Rachel Who Studies Furries Using Weird Philosophy" into a valid and valuable dissertation.
  • Seattle has mostly been gray and rainy (surprise!) but there was some sun this afternoon and we walked around a bit and it was really nice. It is super easy to find vegan food here, which is great, although I am apparently now nightshade-sensitive enough that I cannot eat one french fry. Waugh. On the plus side, the fettucini alfredo at Pizza Pi is nothing short of a revelation; I had assumed I would never have an alfredo of quality again when I went vegan and had reluctantly accepted this. I was wrong.
  • It is sad that my life is not as closely intertwined with anyone's as I am used to it being and expected it to be; on the other hand, the latticework of intersections with people dear to me, sustained across travel and texting and Skype, is really really awesome. Being with Rik, and with my other friends in Seattle, has been really awesome for me. I had my requisite "oh god I let my guard down now everything ever will explode" breakdown this morning but I think I am better for it, and making a ton of progress on getting this paper improved. My ideal version would be around 9500 words, but I think I have trimmed a lot of ... unnecessary prose.
  • Sadly I haven't gotten IRB approval for my ethnography yet, so I haven't been able to do any interviews here. I am hoping I will wake up to it tomorrow morning but at this point I am not expecting to be able to do work on it until after spring break. Fiddlesticks and frippery.
  • I am still only four gyms into Pokemon Black --- I have been busy seeing people I care about and working on worky things --- but I'm having a blast with it. I cannot wait to get to trade things --- I haven't had net that I could use with the DS. (Although the cafe I am in right now might --- I may check tomorrow if it's dreary out and we are spending a lot of cafe time.)
  • Random life-process thing: I was freaking out about my tasklist a whole lot and then I did time estimates. I am freaking out less now. It's still not great, but it is way better than the average week. I should remember this for when I am feeling crazy stressed --- and you might consider it if you have a similar life tracking mechanism to me. It's something I used to do but got out of the habit of.
  • I am in a two-story cafe where I can see down into the bottom story, and I am watching a couple play chess. I have this great birds-eye view. 1. d4 Nc6 2. Bf4 d5 3. Nc3 e6 4. Nf3 Bd6 5. b4?? Bxf4 6. e3 Bd6 I am deeply pleased that Black, and not White, is the girl with black and purple hair. <3 Oh look, now the game doesn't hold her attention enough that she has started texting. Heeeeee.
  • Seriously, she's just toying with him at this point. Okay, back to work.

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