I'm going to point out some things that rax didn't, both because I love rax, and because, as I am a rape survivor myself, some things you said were triggering, enable sexual violence and generally are profoundly unfuckingacceptable.
let me preface this with the note that I have recently become friends with X, and that said friendship is growing stronger over time.
Points for honesty, I guess, but then deduct them right back for smugness. There are many ways to insist on staying friends with a rapist that aren't saccharinely self congratulatory, and you managed to avoid all of them.
I do not support the desire to insist that those not close to you isolate themselves from X
Rax never said they want people who are "not close to" them to isolate themselves from X. What rax asked for, as a condition for rax to feel like they can trust and be close to you, is to "consider not being friends with X" not "avoid ever running into X at cons or other events." Rax also asked that people who choose to be friends with X anyway "do your best to keep details from me," a boundary you trampled on in your very first sentence.
Generally this part of your post comes off as willfully obtuse and deliberately misrepresenting rax's requests to make your own decision to be close friends with a rapist look better.
If the desire is to prevent the spreading of what has been called rape culture
This is the part of your post that made me, as a rape survivor, most infuriated. There's so much to unpack in just this one phrase, I had to sleep on it before I could even remotely attempt coherence.
"If the desire" --> Starting with this if-clause carries the strong implication that you think rax is being disingenuous in their stated goals. You're saying you think they have some hidden agenda and are using sexual violence as a cover story or excuse. That's a really harsh thing to imply about anyone working to end sexual violence, but doubly so for a rape survivor.
"what has been called rape culture" --> What has been called? Seriously? You might as well have said that you think rape culture--that is the persistent, pervasive attitudes that dismisses sexual violence as no big deal and dismisses survivors as either duplicitous liars or unreliable crazy people--doesn't exist.
Also, the point here, as I understood rax's post, is not to prevent some nebulous rape culture out there (something, I'll point out, you are perpetuating in your post here) but to make a specific set of vulnerable people, including rax and some of rax's close friends, safe from a specific known rapist. The primary point is to prevent rax themself from being retraumatized by their rapist and their rapist's friends, and the secondary point is to prevent rape, not prevent rape culture.
shunning those who have crossed that boundary
You mean "shunning rapists." If you're going to defend a rapist at least have the decency to use the word instead of using deliberate circumlocutions to soft peddle what X did.
will leave only those who enable that behavior for them to turn to
I don't believe anyone deserves to be raped, ever. In fact, IRL, I am tangentially involved in a group that is trying to end prison rape, because even violent criminals don't deserve to be raped. That said, if a result of social shunning of rapists means only other rapists and their apologists get raped, that is bad, but far preferable to people who are not rapists or rape apologists getting raped. Hell, maybe it might make some of those rape apologists think twice about their rape apologia.
There is also the option, that you seem not to have considered, that severe consequences for raping people might make rapists stop raping. That's been the case for one of the men who assaulted me. I still don't want him anywhere near me, but from what I've heard through the grapevine, he's done a lot of work to make sure he doesn't hurt another partner the way he hurt me, in part because parts of my social group just PNG'd the shit out of him.
This is, as far as I'm concerned, akin to the issue of criminals finding tips and connections to further their illegal activities when thrown in prison with other criminals.
This is so out of place, bizarre, and non sequitor I'm not even sure what point you're trying to make here. The closest I can come is that you are accusing rape victims who want to shun their rapists of enabling criminal behavior? Is that what you really mean? What remedy do you recommend? Enforced fraternization between victims and their rapists, lest the rapist rape again? Really?
I do not believe unacceptable behavior is beyond forgiveness
X didn't rape you. It's not your place to offer X forgiveness. It is only and entirely rax's decision whether to forgive or not, and it is so not your place or mine or anyone else's to tell or even imply that rax has to ever forgive X.
nor is it behavior that cannot be unlearned if X is held accountable for it
Just one paragraph earlier though you argued against consequences in the form of social shunning. Do you or don't you believe that X needs to be held accountable? And if so, by whom? Rax has good reasons for not going to the criminal justice system, which means it is us to the communities rax and X participate in to hold X accountable.
no subject
let me preface this with the note that I have recently become friends with X, and that said friendship is growing stronger over time.
Points for honesty, I guess, but then deduct them right back for smugness. There are many ways to insist on staying friends with a rapist that aren't saccharinely self congratulatory, and you managed to avoid all of them.
I do not support the desire to insist that those not close to you isolate themselves from X
Rax never said they want people who are "not close to" them to isolate themselves from X. What rax asked for, as a condition for rax to feel like they can trust and be close to you, is to "consider not being friends with X" not "avoid ever running into X at cons or other events." Rax also asked that people who choose to be friends with X anyway "do your best to keep details from me," a boundary you trampled on in your very first sentence.
Generally this part of your post comes off as willfully obtuse and deliberately misrepresenting rax's requests to make your own decision to be close friends with a rapist look better.
If the desire is to prevent the spreading of what has been called rape culture
This is the part of your post that made me, as a rape survivor, most infuriated. There's so much to unpack in just this one phrase, I had to sleep on it before I could even remotely attempt coherence.
"If the desire" --> Starting with this if-clause carries the strong implication that you think rax is being disingenuous in their stated goals. You're saying you think they have some hidden agenda and are using sexual violence as a cover story or excuse. That's a really harsh thing to imply about anyone working to end sexual violence, but doubly so for a rape survivor.
"what has been called rape culture" --> What has been called? Seriously? You might as well have said that you think rape culture--that is the persistent, pervasive attitudes that dismisses sexual violence as no big deal and dismisses survivors as either duplicitous liars or unreliable crazy people--doesn't exist.
Also, the point here, as I understood rax's post, is not to prevent some nebulous rape culture out there (something, I'll point out, you are perpetuating in your post here) but to make a specific set of vulnerable people, including rax and some of rax's close friends, safe from a specific known rapist. The primary point is to prevent rax themself from being retraumatized by their rapist and their rapist's friends, and the secondary point is to prevent rape, not prevent rape culture.
shunning those who have crossed that boundary
You mean "shunning rapists." If you're going to defend a rapist at least have the decency to use the word instead of using deliberate circumlocutions to soft peddle what X did.
will leave only those who enable that behavior for them to turn to
I don't believe anyone deserves to be raped, ever. In fact, IRL, I am tangentially involved in a group that is trying to end prison rape, because even violent criminals don't deserve to be raped. That said, if a result of social shunning of rapists means only other rapists and their apologists get raped, that is bad, but far preferable to people who are not rapists or rape apologists getting raped. Hell, maybe it might make some of those rape apologists think twice about their rape apologia.
There is also the option, that you seem not to have considered, that severe consequences for raping people might make rapists stop raping. That's been the case for one of the men who assaulted me. I still don't want him anywhere near me, but from what I've heard through the grapevine, he's done a lot of work to make sure he doesn't hurt another partner the way he hurt me, in part because parts of my social group just PNG'd the shit out of him.
This is, as far as I'm concerned, akin to the issue of criminals finding tips and connections to further their illegal activities when thrown in prison with other criminals.
This is so out of place, bizarre, and non sequitor I'm not even sure what point you're trying to make here. The closest I can come is that you are accusing rape victims who want to shun their rapists of enabling criminal behavior? Is that what you really mean? What remedy do you recommend? Enforced fraternization between victims and their rapists, lest the rapist rape again? Really?
I do not believe unacceptable behavior is beyond forgiveness
X didn't rape you. It's not your place to offer X forgiveness. It is only and entirely rax's decision whether to forgive or not, and it is so not your place or mine or anyone else's to tell or even imply that rax has to ever forgive X.
nor is it behavior that cannot be unlearned if X is held accountable for it
Just one paragraph earlier though you argued against consequences in the form of social shunning. Do you or don't you believe that X needs to be held accountable? And if so, by whom? Rax has good reasons for not going to the criminal justice system, which means it is us to the communities rax and X participate in to hold X accountable.