The culture around talking about it feels like it's full of assumptions as to who is "allowed" to talk about it, and it includes people who sound like their feminist discourse could slip into saying I'm not a woman (and thus not allowed to talk about anything "feminine" let alone rape) because of the trans thing.

This is one of the things I'd really like to change, and one of the reasons that I don't feel welcome in a lot of the existing conversations. Of course, I have absolutely no idea how to change it, except to raise hell with people who try to pull that shit.

Also, you are the first person I know who has ever said "I have been raped"

I guess it's good that I said that then? At least if you assume that these kinds of disclosures are important, which I think I agree with lilairen on?