Hm, yeah, OK. The term in quotes with a footnote explaining that you are using it for the purpose of describing it as the way a theoretical guy might be thinking (or how it's a part of the cultural narrative in your case) would have been clearer and less issue-pinging for me (since I have a real personal issue with the women/cold/bad thing. Personal "ish" alert. ^_^). It is part of the cultural narrative. It's also a way of thinking/speaking that even well-meaning people in my life have used in a way that's caused me a lot of pain.
Using cold as an insult for women is problematic in all kinds of ways; basically, for women to be good quality women, they have to be sexually prepared for whatever advances men might make on them. If they're not, they're ice queens, frigid, cold fish, etc. You're right, but it also gets to how women are supposed to want, and enthusiastically want, whatever sexual advances men make towards them, and if they don't, they're disordered. IMO, one can't really feel "no" is a fully valid option when too many "nos" means "there must be something wrong with you/you must have a disorder." A "hot" woman is not just a sexy woman, she's a woman who wants the advances.
So overall I'm thinking, even though there are men who are using this term to refer to women, is this a term that women should ever be using ourselves to refer to other women, even in a hypothetical context? We can describe what men are thinking, but doesn't our choosing to adopt that term into our lexicons (along with "ice queen" and "frigid") also work against women as a whole at the same time? (Hence why I suggested the quotation marks and footnote.)
no subject
Using cold as an insult for women is problematic in all kinds of ways; basically, for women to be good quality women, they have to be sexually prepared for whatever advances men might make on them. If they're not, they're ice queens, frigid, cold fish, etc. You're right, but it also gets to how women are supposed to want, and enthusiastically want, whatever sexual advances men make towards them, and if they don't, they're disordered. IMO, one can't really feel "no" is a fully valid option when too many "nos" means "there must be something wrong with you/you must have a disorder." A "hot" woman is not just a sexy woman, she's a woman who wants the advances.
So overall I'm thinking, even though there are men who are using this term to refer to women, is this a term that women should ever be using ourselves to refer to other women, even in a hypothetical context? We can describe what men are thinking, but doesn't our choosing to adopt that term into our lexicons (along with "ice queen" and "frigid") also work against women as a whole at the same time? (Hence why I suggested the quotation marks and footnote.)
Anyway, I won't derail this conversation further.