One of the things that's also worth keeping in mind, I think, is that people whose reactions to rape aren't normative can also wind up excluded.

Back when the 'No Pity, No Shame, No Silence' meme was rattling around, a friend of mine wrote about her rape - which was pretty much, to her, an emotional nonevent - and she mentioned not always feeling comfortable mentioning that she had been raped, for fear of being taken as talking about a trauma when she wasn't.

A lot of the "normal" conversations about rape not only privilege cis-heterosexuality but particular reactions to the event.