I mean, I think you get it, or I wouldn't be dating you. ;) I wouldn't say anything over dinner, but there are like 200 other people reading here! It's a teachable moment, or something. ;)
One of the ways to talk through it that I really like is centering the discussion on cis anxiety; looking at an Other who doesn't work like them forces cis people to confront the construction of their own gender identities, and makes them uncomfortable.
The reason I call it a pet issue is not because it is a housecat to some other issue's roaring lion; it's because I look for it in everything I read, and focus on that more than I focus on other things. Valenti doesn't talk about disability worth a damn, either, but I didn't discuss that. Part of this is because I am trans; part of it is because I study trans. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it is something I should be aware of in the way I approach the world.
Re: an important clarification
One of the ways to talk through it that I really like is centering the discussion on cis anxiety; looking at an Other who doesn't work like them forces cis people to confront the construction of their own gender identities, and makes them uncomfortable.
The reason I call it a pet issue is not because it is a housecat to some other issue's roaring lion; it's because I look for it in everything I read, and focus on that more than I focus on other things. Valenti doesn't talk about disability worth a damn, either, but I didn't discuss that. Part of this is because I am trans; part of it is because I study trans. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it is something I should be aware of in the way I approach the world.