Like, I have long hair because I have long hair, and there must be ways for it to be read as more masculine but fuck if I know what they are.

There are ways to do this in nerd circles; you can wear a ponytail really low, you can braid a particular way, you can let it get kinda ratty. (Not recommended.) But in Texas I cannot imagine how you would do that short of a mullet.

I hate when people check for a wedding ring. (I have specific damage around this based on my recent history, I guess.) I want to be like there is a bike chain there that should tell you everything you need to know which is fuck off but I don't think that means anything to anyone who I haven't told what it means.

Basically, argh.