I'm in the same bag as you and bristle a bit when people use really feminine-gendered language in my direction, but I'd rather let it slide than bear the onus of having to educate someone (which is most people in the world) about gender theory. I wish that this thing were taught as a regular part of schooling instead of specialized college-level courses. The sad thing is that biology, in the vast majority of cases, divides the physical appearance of our bodies into two broad categories, and since we are creatures with giant brains who are really good at novel visual object classification, we tend to look at what's in front of us and immediately bin it into the category of either "male" or "female." Because society is slow to move away from functioning based on this biology, gender still really matters to people. It's part of the core of many peoples' identities and their mental concepts of themselves. As a result, it is one of the core foundations of how they probably construct identities for other people, and so they're not even aware of the gendered assumptions they make even in mundane social interaction.

It would be nice if society functioned in a way that was more gender-irrelevant, but you know, gender matters to most people, and I feel the real genderqueers and gender-neutral folks are in the minority. Some people want to be treated a certain way because they have a vagina or a penis. THEY LIKE IT. It boggles my mind too, but there you go.

Either we fight to change it in everyday language, which I am actually too lazy to do, or we have to put up with it. I find that the longer and longer it drags on for, the more and more apathetic I am by how people address me. Whatever, fine. As long as they're not telling me how to dress or how to behave, it'll roll right off.