Given how gendered our society is, and how that gender even creeps into things like language (HOW CAN OBJECTS HAVE A GENDER?! I DON'T GET IT), I don't see the opting selective in or out thing happening anytime soon. That would be nice, but without a lot of fighting and education I just don't see it happening in my life time. :( Sad, but true. I feel your pain. I think I will just have to be satisfied that my friends group respects what that's all about.