I can't even begin to generalize at all, since I don't know many agendered folks, but I get slightly annoyed even when my friends go out of their way to use a third-gendered pronouns or even "they", because it means they are consciously thinking about my gender and it's already obviously had more attention spent on it than it deserves. I am aware that there are people who identify as any one of a number of non-binary genders for whom such pronouns may be affirming, but they just don't do it for me.

My method of opting out has been to ignore gendered address the way I might ignore a small child doing something annoying for attention. I'm not sure if this approach would have satisfied me when I was performing a less unclear gender though*.

I do enjoy playing EchoBazaar and having it consider me "a lethal and crafty individual of mysterious and indistinct gender". And all the shopkeepers refer to my character as something like "Si.. er, Ma... er, hello!" I think that, if I could, that's what I'd choose.



*I'm using "performing" here from the perspective of performance theory, theater studies and how undictated-by-biology my own choices have been, not because I think gender is just a facade, is always unimportant or is not vitally real to some folks.