It's not that simple (and you're not even saying that it's simple; it's not even as simple as that).
What I tend to take away from 'men are dangerous' is "And therefore it's your own stupid fault you were sexually assaulted, you should have known better."
It does not help that my own mother was so blase about the prospect that I might have been raped that she not only didn't ask me if I was all right when she thought it had happened, but the first time I tried to talk about it she responded with a shrug and a, "I figured he forced himself on you." Just another everyday occurence.
That's the message I get from it: rape is normal. If it happens to you it's because you didn't take proper precautions. You should have known men are just like that.
(The victim-blaming self-hatred shit around rape and sexual assault? I managed to pick up rather a lot of that.)
Took me eight years to get the emotional space to believe it was okay to admit to having been messed up by the assault; nine years after that, and I still haven't genuinely shaken the conviction that it was basically my fault. Because men are dangerous. I should have known better.
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regna
(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-18 02:25 am (UTC)What I tend to take away from 'men are dangerous' is "And therefore it's your own stupid fault you were sexually assaulted, you should have known better."
It does not help that my own mother was so blase about the prospect that I might have been raped that she not only didn't ask me if I was all right when she thought it had happened, but the first time I tried to talk about it she responded with a shrug and a, "I figured he forced himself on you." Just another everyday occurence.
That's the message I get from it: rape is normal. If it happens to you it's because you didn't take proper precautions. You should have known men are just like that.
(The victim-blaming self-hatred shit around rape and sexual assault? I managed to pick up rather a lot of that.)
Took me eight years to get the emotional space to believe it was okay to admit to having been messed up by the assault; nine years after that, and I still haven't genuinely shaken the conviction that it was basically my fault. Because men are dangerous. I should have known better.
Y'know?