in a sense, rape is already normalized. look at how much it is portrayed on TV and how natural is it to watch these shows without realizing the reality of the portrayal.
also, most of us have been raped, or raped someone, so again, very normal in our everyday lives.
then again, why should we try to normalize rape? normalizing the conversation about it, maybe, but not the act itself certainly.
your definition is pretty much the definition used in court cases and whatnot according to the womens studies class i took.
i dont think these conversations should ever not center the person sharing. when someone shares a rape experience, they should welcome and expect concern and a more centered conversation. otherwise they should not mention themselves as the so called "victim" of the experience. one can share personal experiences without making them personal, especially if one or more of the people involved are friends of friends etc.
if someone raped you, and it was not out of context, then that person should be brought to some form of justice. whether that justice is merely you coming to terms with that relationship and understanding how to get out of it, or you bringing them to court, or you moving away, then so be it. but right and wrong and justice and injustice may mean different things to different people. as you say, you are not interested in really bringing up the name of the person or forging an army against them, someone else might not be satisfied or able to live their life if they don't take that kind of action.
a way to speak about rape in a public or at least conversational setting is certainly possible. i talk about it all of the time with people, trying to teach with what i have learned from experiences and classes. generally i will speak of tv shows and move my way to specific facts about people in our community and cities. this way i dont have to talk about myself or my experiences, but can still move from general to specific and get listeners and friends involved in the conversation without feeling pressured to uncover their own rapists.
im scared to go out alone at night because i get harrassed and hit on in broad daylight every day at my job in a department store, without light and security its only easier. do i look at all men and expect harrassment? no, or else i wouldnt be able to function at my job or in life in general. i am just careful of any stranger that i meet or speak too outside of a controlled situation. i think thats really all i can do. or anyone really.
i think same-sex rape and rape committed by women is much more common when u think of rape more broadly. whats i mean is when the definition of rape constitutes sexual assault rather than merely penetration. and this occurs all over by any gender, any orientation, or any particular relationship type. we see it within families, gay circles, straight circles, whatever. it doesnt matter but its not the perpetuated norm because of the dislike of the non straight man=power woman=weak relationship. derailing? no. just not as well known or thought about.
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regna
(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-18 04:33 am (UTC)also, most of us have been raped, or raped someone, so again, very normal in our everyday lives.
then again, why should we try to normalize rape? normalizing the conversation about it, maybe, but not the act itself certainly.
your definition is pretty much the definition used in court cases and whatnot according to the womens studies class i took.
i dont think these conversations should ever not center the person sharing. when someone shares a rape experience, they should welcome and expect concern and a more centered conversation. otherwise they should not mention themselves as the so called "victim" of the experience. one can share personal experiences without making them personal, especially if one or more of the people involved are friends of friends etc.
if someone raped you, and it was not out of context, then that person should be brought to some form of justice. whether that justice is merely you coming to terms with that relationship and understanding how to get out of it, or you bringing them to court, or you moving away, then so be it. but right and wrong and justice and injustice may mean different things to different people. as you say, you are not interested in really bringing up the name of the person or forging an army against them, someone else might not be satisfied or able to live their life if they don't take that kind of action.
a way to speak about rape in a public or at least conversational setting is certainly possible. i talk about it all of the time with people, trying to teach with what i have learned from experiences and classes. generally i will speak of tv shows and move my way to specific facts about people in our community and cities. this way i dont have to talk about myself or my experiences, but can still move from general to specific and get listeners and friends involved in the conversation without feeling pressured to uncover their own rapists.
im scared to go out alone at night because i get harrassed and hit on in broad daylight every day at my job in a department store, without light and security its only easier. do i look at all men and expect harrassment? no, or else i wouldnt be able to function at my job or in life in general. i am just careful of any stranger that i meet or speak too outside of a controlled situation. i think thats really all i can do. or anyone really.
i think same-sex rape and rape committed by women is much more common when u think of rape more broadly. whats i mean is when the definition of rape constitutes sexual assault rather than merely penetration. and this occurs all over by any gender, any orientation, or any particular relationship type. we see it within families, gay circles, straight circles, whatever. it doesnt matter but its not the perpetuated norm because of the dislike of the non straight man=power woman=weak relationship. derailing? no. just not as well known or thought about.