(Sorry about the long delay in response - I have a job too. :) )
You'll note I didn't get to respond to anything between 8:15 and 17:45 EDT... :)
The sympathy is almost certainly genuine; I'd be amazed if it weren't. It's the expression that's the problem here, and their fear of not seeming supportive to you and to others. Again, their problem. An understandable one, but it's their fear and self-confidence to deal with. I'd say it isn't my obligation to frame it in a way that makes them comfortable, because the source of their fear isn't me, it's their perceptions.
I'd agree that I don't hav the obligation, but I am curious if there's a way I can frame things to not have to deal with it. Perhaps that is selfish of me. :)
On a related note, a question - do you feel that exercising some control and restraint when you disclose, such that others might feel you are framing it in a certain way, helps you deal with it? It seems to for me, and I find that interesting.
Honestly? I don't have enough experience disclosing to say. Ask me again at some point in the future?
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regna
(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-18 10:15 pm (UTC)You'll note I didn't get to respond to anything between 8:15 and 17:45 EDT... :)
The sympathy is almost certainly genuine; I'd be amazed if it weren't. It's the expression that's the problem here, and their fear of not seeming supportive to you and to others. Again, their problem. An understandable one, but it's their fear and self-confidence to deal with. I'd say it isn't my obligation to frame it in a way that makes them comfortable, because the source of their fear isn't me, it's their perceptions.
I'd agree that I don't hav the obligation, but I am curious if there's a way I can frame things to not have to deal with it. Perhaps that is selfish of me. :)
On a related note, a question - do you feel that exercising some control and restraint when you disclose, such that others might feel you are framing it in a certain way, helps you deal with it? It seems to for me, and I find that interesting.
Honestly? I don't have enough experience disclosing to say. Ask me again at some point in the future?