Fire.

[rax]

Short version: Housemate set the house on fire. No one is hurt. Got the cats out OK, and though they were very scared at first, Oolong has already wandered up to me and licked my face. I think Selene is still hiding. I will probably go sit with her when I am done with this post.

Also: DO NOT CALL ME. You will stress me out and I will not answer. This goes for anyone, whether you are friend or family or the Pope. DO NOT CALL MY PHONE. You can text me but do not expect a response if I am not able to deal right then. I would in fact really appreciate texts or emails or whatnot! But I am not able to deal with interactions that I cannot schedule right now and probably for the next few days. Thank you for your understanding. I know that I am crazy. Please do not make me more crazy.

So. I was grading some papers and talking on AIM when the fire alarm went off. Usually this is because of steam from the shower, and my housemate was taking a shower, and I figured he had left the door open, but I looked up just in case, and saw smoke. I ran into the kitchen, and he had LEFT OIL BOILING WHILE HE WENT TO TAKE A SHOWER. The oil was on fire, the pan was melting, and the flames were shooting up into the range hood. I told another housemate to call 911, put on oven mitts, and moved the pan over to another burner, and then turned off the burner that had been on. The range hood was still on fire, and my next thought was: FUCK, IT'S IN THE ELECTRICS. This was true; turning off the circuit breaker to the range hood minimized the damage but at that point I was fucked. Vegan-clubbing-friend-from-last-post and I grabbed cat carriers, ran into the basement, stuffed the cats in to their great displeasure, and brought them outside. The fire department showed up while we were doing this and went to work.

Damage:

• kitchen cabinets
• anything that was stored in the cabinet above the stove is totally fucked
• the range hood is a twisted lump of like molten metal it's pretty fucked up
• the stove is probably dead
• the wiring to that half of the kitchen may be fucked
• everything smells like smoke
• my cats are sad
• I currently despise everything and am seriously considering just sending my homework in to class with my housemate and saying "sorry I have to deal with shit this is just not happening" we will see how I feel in the morning

On the plus side, I had been looking for an excuse to get a gas stove, and there is gas piping behind the stove! I know this because the back of the stove is blackened and insulation is hanging out everywhere and there is tons of broken glass. But if you have recommendations for good gas stoves I would love to hear them! I am not going to go measure right now because it will make me cry but it's a reasonable amount of room and I may have to replace the counters anyway.

Also I would love to have some vegan nightshade free rice cooker recipes that provide complete nutritious meals. Because I cannot eat out. Eating out is for other people. Although fuck it, I am shelling out for vegan sushi for lunch and dinner tomorrow. And maybe breakfast. But after that I need to make, I dunno, rice and lentils and peas and spices? And then throw in hummus? That's like a meal. Oh god.

Also also uh how do you file a homeowner's insurance claim?

I'm gonna go find my cat now.

Comments

[bossgoji.livejournal.com]

Holy blap. Oh god, that's terrible, dear. I am so sorry this happened. Home disasters are the absolute worst.

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

I am glad to hear that you and yours are OK, and you have my sympathies.

[sovay]

Housemate set the house on fire. No one is hurt.

Oh, my God. I am so sorry.

I would not live with this person anymore.

Also, make him buy your food.

[ceruleanst.livejournal.com]

Aaaaa. Um, if you do get a gas stove, I respectfully suggest you set clear limits for your housemate regarding its use.

[scwizard.livejournal.com]

I told another housemate to call 911, put on oven mitts, and moved the pan over to another burner, and then turned off the burner that had been on. The range hood was still on fire, and my next thought was: FUCK, IT'S IN THE ELECTRICS. This was true; turning off the circuit breaker to the range hood minimized the damage but at that point I was fucked.
Sounds like a very sane and appropriate reaction.

If you weren't such a together person things could have been much worse.

[lindseykuper]

Holy shit, that sucks. I'm really sorry. I was kitchenless for a little while last year when a water pipe exploded in my kitchen, and...it sucks.

You can make vegan slow cooker split pea soup. It's hard to do it wrong, and it gets better the longer you let it sit. Oh! And! If you've got an electric kettle, get some dehydrated bean flakes. You can put them in a bowl with some couscous, pour boiling water over them, wait for five minutes, and enjoy with a condiment of your choice. I've always used salsa, but you could try hummus, or, like, pickled carrots?

[kelkyag]

Oh dear my gods. I'm glad all the residents are okay.

Perhaps acquiring an electric hotplate or burner would be useful? You can get single or double plug-in electric stovetop-type elements like this in various sizes and qualities, which would give you a much wider range of cooking options.

[rushthatspeaks.livejournal.com]

Ouch. *hugs* You are so awesome in those circumstances I would *not* have managed to think of the circuit breaker, go you.

Also, totally vegan sushi, absolutely.

Also it's not quite a one-dish meal because you will want something else with it, but I really like carrot rice, which is where you grate with the absolute smallest hole of the grater one carrot per cup of cooked rice and stir together while the rice is still hot and maybe add some basil or some savory or something and definitely a little salt. It is very much comfort food and with hummus and pita would be a meal.

[scholars.livejournal.com]

Holy crap, that's awful. D: I'm glad you and your cats aren't hurt, though.

[greyooze.livejournal.com]

Moment of relief: clicking past the LJ-cut and finding out that it wasn't an "everything is destroyed" house fire. Good to know everyone's safe. Also, good job saving the day! I'm particularly impressed that you somehow managed to get a scared cat into a carrying case without being clawed to ribbons.

I looked around for some recipes (http://greyooze.livejournal.com/1086.html). I got a few designed for the rice cooker specifically, and a few others I think you can pull off with it. Apparently you can sauté in one, so that's good news.

[sabotabby]

Oh my God. I'm so glad you and the cats are okay. That's awful and terrifying and school had better understand or I'll teleport over there and kick their asses.

*hugs*

Oh wow

[frolain.livejournal.com]

Good job dealing and minimizing the damage, I was so glad to hear nobody was hurt.

The rice from this recipe is awesome for me, but alas not a complete meal on it's own. I echo the recommendations for getting a hot plate. Also get a small fire extinguisher to keep near the stove, if nothing else it might help feel safer and more prepared.

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/107640?mbid=ipapp

Re: Oh wow

[greyooze.livejournal.com]

They make small fire extinguishers just for keeping in the kitchen; my parents have one. After reading this post, I am totally heading out to get one this very week.

PS: There're tomatoes in that recipe, but you can probably swap them out for something else. The red pepper you could just drop, it's a minor ingredient I think.

[rustycoon.livejournal.com]

I told another housemate to call 911, put on oven mitts, and moved the pan over to another burner, and then turned off the burner that had been on.

That is some serious clear thinking under stress, btw. You rock.

...turning off the circuit breaker...

And that is damn near medal worthy.

This situation is bad, and it no doubt feels much worse. If I may point out a few things in an attempt to be reassuring?

1) This is not a total loss, you will recover.
2) You handled the situation with some epic correctness. This resulted in #1.
3) You have homeowners insurance for a reason. Insurance is there to protect you from massive losses. Damage to you will be limited by this. You will recover. Assuming you got HO1, Fire is the first thing on the list it covers. HO1 also covers contents that were specifically enumerated. As the person above mentioned - make sure you claim for smoke damage as well, that stuff gets everywhere.
4) This shit is gonna be okay. You will recover.

Also. *hug*

[mindways]

!!!

Glad all are OK and the house is still standing.

[keshwyn]

Ye gods! Excellent initial response, but yeeeeeg that sucks.

Everybody else has told you how to start with the homeowner's claim, so I'll just be over here thinking no-beaurocracy thoughts at your insurance company.

[nineweaving.livejournal.com]

Hell. I am so very glad all of you are safe. And I am in awe of your tactics under fire. You rock.

Be well and cool.

Nine

[read-alicia.livejournal.com]

I am still scared for you.

[faerieboots.livejournal.com]

Oh my gosh I am so sorry; that sounds like it was really scary and I'm really glad everyone is OK. ((Hugs if you want 'em))

As far as food to eat while you have no stove and can't go out... is your oven separate from your stove, or were they the same unit? If you still have use of an oven, you can roast some root vegetables (that aren't potatoes, I mean... carrots and parsnips and onions and such) and then dice them and mix them with rice to make a sort of pilaf. You could also probably make frozen veggies in the microwave (microwave is still working, yes?) for a similar effect. Oh and some cheap instant pasta dishes can be made in the microwave--you probably would not want to add the powdered stuff, but you might be able to buy some $1 Lipton noodles and throw the noodle part in the microwave and then mix that with some oil and garlic, or peas or something.

Also, if you get really desperate, there's always peanut butter sandwiches--I'm sure you have vegan starch stuff in the house.

I'm so sorry that this happened to you.

[greyooze.livejournal.com]

She said the wiring in the kitchen is probably damaged; probably best not trying the oven until an electrician's checked it out. Good call on the microwave, though; if it's not damaged and not one of those built-in dealios it can probably be plugged in in another room?

Anybody know if you can cook pasta dishes in a rice cooker? It seems like it should work, although I've never actually used one myself.

[autumnesquirrel.livejournal.com]

Holy cow, eeeek. Also, *many hugs*.

You might not want to cook beans from scratch in the rice cooker, but I bet canned beans would cook up just fine. Also, steam-able vegetables? I think I'd be eating many sandwiches and bowls of cereal for a while.

[maekern.livejournal.com]

Wow. I am glad that everyone is okay.

[jessiehl.livejournal.com]

Wow, eeek. I'm glad everyone is okay, and sorry about your house.

[blondestwolf.livejournal.com]

Sweet bejeebus. I hope your housemate lets you give him one good punch in the arm. Glad to hear that everyone is OK.

I don't have a good record of it, but I did a far less tomato based version of this recipe for sweet potato chili (http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/2009/05/sweet-potato-chili-vegan-crockpot.html). I didn't use the tomatoes or OJ, I used veggie stock instead. Even without the chili peppers, I think you could get good flavor going with cumin, garlic, and other spices.

[sprrwhwk.livejournal.com]

Oh gawd. Fires suck. Glad you and yours are okay.

(Left a POT OF OIL BOILING ON THE STOVE AND WENT TO TAKE A SHOWER?!?! That's not just asking for trouble, that's going out with his trusty trouble gun, his trouble hound, and a field guide to the habits of trouble hunting for it. So, so, so far from not okay.)

Anti-stress Thread

[greyooze.livejournal.com]

Everyone, post the cutsiest pictures you can find.

Let's do it.

(http://www.funpic.hu/files/pics/00030/00030946.jpg)

Re: Anti-stress Thread

[rax.livejournal.com]

That is in fact super adorable, thank you :)

[baniszew.livejournal.com]

Eep! I am glad that everyone is okay and that you did such a good job of thinking fast and minimizing the damage.