I guess I don't think that it was nonconsensual if you freely chose to go along with it (see above, somewhere) where the key part of that is probably the word "freely".
It's a really, really good meme to spread that rape is not about sex. It's important for changing the social narrative from "Oh he was just horny" to "He was a criminal". I don't think this culture is ready to step away from that meme.
However... I don't think it's entirely true. For instance, for some people, the sex and the control are the same. And I think a lot of rape comes from people just plain not giving a damn about how their partners feel. Is that about sex? Or is it about power, because the person is exercising the ability to disregard another person's personhood? Is this possibly another area where the experience for the sex-or and the sex-ee can be quite different, so that for one it's the sex and for the other it's about the loss of power/control/agency?
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regna
(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-18 11:48 pm (UTC)It's a really, really good meme to spread that rape is not about sex. It's important for changing the social narrative from "Oh he was just horny" to "He was a criminal". I don't think this culture is ready to step away from that meme.
However... I don't think it's entirely true. For instance, for some people, the sex and the control are the same. And I think a lot of rape comes from people just plain not giving a damn about how their partners feel. Is that about sex? Or is it about power, because the person is exercising the ability to disregard another person's personhood? Is this possibly another area where the experience for the sex-or and the sex-ee can be quite different, so that for one it's the sex and for the other it's about the loss of power/control/agency?
I dunno.