Having been on the other side, though, it's not just about the person who says it. It's also about the other people in the conversation. No one wants to be the person who doesn't have sympathy for the rape victim, you know?
This is a really good point, but one that I don't know how to address, because it feels awkward to have an obligation to frame things properly, as the person making the disclosure. It's also uncomfortable to feel like the sympathy might actually not be about me but about seeming sympathetic? I understand that it's complicated but I have difficulty engaging with it emotionally from where I sit.
Yeah. I brought this up with rax yesterday evening. I don't even think it's usually about appearing to express sympathy--I think it's expressing real sympathy, and also about other people seeing that you're expressing real sympathy.
I'm still not sure what to do to engage with this issue. I worry that if I try and express sympathy in a different way I will get read as condoning, when in fact that's the last thing I am.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
regna
(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-18 12:56 pm (UTC)This is a really good point, but one that I don't know how to address, because it feels awkward to have an obligation to frame things properly, as the person making the disclosure. It's also uncomfortable to feel like the sympathy might actually not be about me but about seeming sympathetic? I understand that it's complicated but I have difficulty engaging with it emotionally from where I sit.
Yeah. I brought this up with
I'm still not sure what to do to engage with this issue. I worry that if I try and express sympathy in a different way I will get read as condoning, when in fact that's the last thing I am.