asking the internet for suggestions

[rax]

I have a few problems/goals I want to ask the internet for suggestions regarding. So, hi Internet! There are a jillion things I could be doing, but these particular things are taking up a bunch of space in my head, so I want to get them resolved or at least in progress so they won't do that anymore. These issues include the emotional and the logistical.

• I'm making awesome friends in Tucson who do not share the value with me that you should refer to people by the pronouns that those people prefer. This is obnoxious. I don't want to not be friends with them, and occasional requests for correction are doing jack all. I've been trying to present more neutrally with them so that there is some kind of physical cue, but everything I do just codes feminine or butch to them as far as I can tell. Is there something clever I can do here? If I say "I prefer they and would appreciate if you used that pronoun," they sort of nod and say yes and then just don't, and they aren't really open to talking about it. I don't expect to get it 100% of the time and that's fine, but I'd feel more comfortable with it if it happened sometimes, or if I felt I'd exhausted my options. (Maybe I'll ask Zury to pull them aside or something? I don't feel like it's done much good coming from me.)
• I have this water feature --- a little circulating pond and waterfall thing --- and it's full of nasty plant gunk and algae and whatnot such that the thing is kind of clogged and also gross. That's fine, I can clean it! But... how? My current plan is to drain it, let it dry, sweep it out, pull stuff out with gloved hands if necessary, and then fill it back up. This feels pretty reasonable, but how do I drain a pond? I am considering some sort of shopvac, but I don't know what kind to get --- I probably want something where I can just suck up the water and let it go into the ground, not have to fill the tank, empty it out, fill the tank, empty it out a billion times. Who do I even ask this question? A hardware store? (I can't redirect the pump I already have elsewhere because the piping is all underground... I think. I should doublecheck that when it's not dark out.)
• How stupid of an idea is a king-size bed? (I have a lifestyle that occasionally but not often calls for three people sleeping in a single bed, or I would not evenbe considering this.) If it's not stupid, how expensive of an idea is it? I'm used to platform beds with futon mattresses, and knew how to shop for those mostly, but then Dream On Futon in Cambridge closed and it turns out all I know how to do is buy things from them that are good and buy things from Amazon that look good but are actually kind of shitty. It's not even that I expect the Internet to have the answer to the question "what bed do I want, if any" --- that's a synthesizing-information thing that I'm good at --- but I don't even know where to start. Bonus points for things that aren't "go somewhere where people will try to sell me something," although I guess at some point if I decide I want to upgrade I will need to patronize an establishment and disburse funds.
• I think I answered this last one with a duckduckgo search, so nevermind.

Thanks for reading, even if you don't have any suggestions. :)

Comments

[ab3nd.livejournal.com]

Also, I've had some experience in the "huge beds" area, but a lot of it is particular to me.

N. and I, when we lived together, did not have other people share our beds, and had two queen beds side by side on the floor. The bump formed by the edges of the mattresses prevented us both sleeping in the middle, and he found it a bit lonely to have that much space between us when we slept. I didn't have a problem with that, as the difficulty I have sleeping is more-or-less proportional to how close I am (distance-wise) to the person I'm sleeping with (literally), with a fudge factor for how tired I am. If they are in their own house and I'm in mine, I sleep like a log.

So if you want space, go for the king (or two queens edge-to-edge). If you want all snuggles all the time, don't bother. I wouldn't be able to sleep well with three people on a queen size bed, but that's how I'm wired. You may also want to consider how much having a bad night's sleep, or crashing on the couch, amortized over how often that happens, stacks up against the money for the king size bed.

[crschmidt.livejournal.com]

Three people on a queen Does Not Work, in my experience. I don't think that's just you: there's a serious lack of space. (I guess *maybe* 3 Very Skinny people would work. But I can't picture it.)

If I could figure out how to fit a king size bed in my Cambridge apartment, I'd do it in a heartbeat. (Our old apartment probably could have done it, but I'm glad we didn't go that route; it would have meant we'd have to buy a new bed when we moved, because a Cambridge apartment I can afford with room for a King size bed is a non-starter.)